Deleted Chapter from When Boys Have Breasts - Winter 1994. Added May 9, 2019
Ok, maybe it was only twelve or thirteen days. Let’s go with a baker’s dozen. Does that mean thirteen? I’ve only heard the phrase in passing. But whether it’s a baker’s dozen or any other professional’s dozen, more than a week away from school, particularly when it’s unexpected, feels like a lifetime. Especially with no electricity.
It was named Ice Storm ’94. It was the worst such storm in over twenty years. I entered the storm with great enthusiasm because I believed it was just going to be a mundane snow day creating an extended weekend. I was familiar with the concept of a snow day though I hadn’t recalled actually experiencing one because it rarely snowed in Memphis, and even if it did, it even more rarely stuck to the ground. It may’ve snowed a time or two but it was either on the weekend or during winter break, which really felt like a rip-off.
So, when I first heard Claudia Barr on WHBQ Channel 13 News talk of ice headed our way, I knew ice wasn’t the same as snow, but I thought, it’s still frozen precipitation allowing me to sleep in. The fact the main anchor, Claudia, was discussing the weather instead of just the regular weather folks should’ve tipped me off, but my celebratory spirit distracted me from such context clues. I called Eric to make sure he’d heard the good news too, though he seemed a little more concerned than I. What he knew then, that I only know now is when ice freezes on various structures it can weigh down said structure and cause it to break or collapse. The most meddlesome examples relate to trees branches falling on power lines or ice collecting on the power lines themselves. That’s exactly what happened and my beloved snow day transformed into snow weeks. Luckily, we hadn’t converted entirely to cordless phones, which require electricity and would’ve put a damper on our ability to get updates from those with power. There were reports of people without power for two weeks but we were just in the dark for a few days.
Once the ice melted away and we regained power, school was still out as many Memphians weren’t so fortunate. Others suffering put a dark cloud over those off days I once coveted, so by the time we finally made it back to school, I was truly delighted. Until I heard news the school board had to devise a plan to make up for the lost school time. Some were suggesting using our upcoming spring break to make up the days but many teachers argued too many people would’ve already made non-refundable travel plans. That was the first time I realized there were some people who took vacations during scheduled school breaks. Look at how the other half (quarter) lived. The ultimate solution resulted in an hour being added to each school day for about 40 days through mid-April. It never occurred to me snow days might require make-ups, or even worse, they could throw off my entire afternoon cartoon viewing schedule. The extra hour was added in approximate ten-minute increments to each of our class periods. They may as well have added an eternity to each period because any mandated deviation to our routine felt like a personal attack on our way of life.
Snow days suck. Ice days too.
Deleted Scene from When Boys Have Breasts. - Circa Summer 1996. Added December 7, 2018
“Freddie, you have a phone call!”
“Who is it, mama?” It was after ten o’clock on a Sunday night and generally, those calls were the expected continuation of a call I had already started before ten. But on this night, I was expecting no such call.
“I don’t know, son,” She answered with a polite tone that had an air of an annoyed if you would pick up the phone so I could hang up, you would have the answer you seek. I picked up, laughing to myself at why I hesitated in the first place. I didn’t owe anyone money nor had I been secretly dating someone’s girlfriend. I had nothing to worry about.
“I got it, mama! – Hello?”
“Hi, Freddie!” shouted what sounded like two separate voices simultaneously, both giggling to have heard my mother’s nickname for me that I never shared in school. (At least my middle name was still safe.)
“Y’all not gonna start calling me that, is you? Also, who is y’all?”
“Hahaha, It’s Tracey and Ashley!” they both answered giggling, and in unison, which was strange, as Ashley even put her name second too. The giggles sounded like a mix of nervous laughter and being entertained by my intentional use of bad grammar, as they knew by my English grades, had to be for comedic purposes. I never truly appreciated the phrase “less is more” until that summer. I had two cute brown-skinned girls of average heights and proportions, both smart and funny, and both hinting to have an appreciation for me, calling me on an almost nightly basis. I think it was a bit overwhelming. During the first conversation, and on later calls not using three-way, they both described their infatuation that came about, almost instantaneously once hearing my feminine journal entry. (Although they didn’t make it clear, in my mind at least, if it was simply platonic or actually romantic.) I liked them both, but kind of like when two actors are nominated for the same television series at the Emmy Awards, I felt their frequent three-way calling split my vote so neither could win. I even felt guilty when one was busy and I ended up just talking to the other. Somehow, I went from not having any, to having too many women, in the blink of an eye.
Deleted Scene from When Boys Have Breasts. - Circa 1995. Added November 8, 2018
“Junior was a fellow ninth-grader that people sometimes said looked like me because there was a time he was chubbier though by 1995 he had slimmed down while growing taller. His complexion and hair texture were not too far off from my own, either. I considered him a friend and we both were in the same period of Ms. Ray’s Physics class. Shawna was another cool, cute girl on the Pompon squad who usually didn’t dwell on the “not quite as cool” side of the tracks. She wasn’t a girl many of us paid much attention to with her slender frame, but one day, out of nowhere she wore khaki slacks, suspenders and a cream-colored, sheer turtle-neck that took the entire field of Physics by storm. For such a slim girl, overnight she seemed to have sprouted D-cup breasts that halted all learning from the male persuasion for the duration of that class period if not a class or two beyond.
Although,I didn’t understand the science behind it, Shawna seemed to have a similar guttural reaction to Junior singing Boyz II Men’s “On Bended Knee” during a subsequent school talent show. At one point, he took the microphone from its stand and literally got on bended knee to beg the ladies in the crowd, “please” and Shawna, and many alike, absolutely loved his rendition of the popular song. I later overheard Shawna defending Junior, saying “there was nothing wrong with him” as if she was defending a potential boyfriend she had chosen. I later relayed this intel to him and joined him on a strategic three-way call, listening silently in the background as moral support. I’m not sure if a lot came from the interaction but I was proud someone from my side of the tracks had made such positive headway in infiltrating the cool kids and their status quo.”
Deleted Scene from #WBHB - Circa 1996. Added October 25, 2018
“Camille had striking light brown eyes that people rumored were colored contacts, but she wore them so consistently, I refused to believe what I decided were false claims. I mean if you consider the consistency it would take to pull that off for three years of high school, I believed one would’ve earned the right for that to be considered her natural eye color. Think about it. Why should we reward people who are born with those unusual eye colors when they didn’t put in half the work Camille allegedly did? Regardless, she was still a cute girl and it wasn’t totally intertwined with her eyes.”